Praise the Lord! I hope and pray you are all being blessed by the Lord. I was thinking about all of the pain and suffering I went through over the past year. I've come to the conclusion that it was good that I was afflicted. David said the same thing in the 119th Psalm verse 71.
71It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes.
My relationship with God is much closer now, my prayer life is stronger now and my study habits have improved. Funny how a little adversity can either bring you closer to God or drive you away from God. All my life I had a lot of pride, not that I thought I was all that good looking because in fact I had low self esteem when it came to my outward appearance. But I tried to make up for it with my accomplishments, playing football in high school and college. First in my family to go to college and graduate. I Wrote songs and produced music and had a career as a Registered Nurse. What did it all mean? Nothing, if it had not all led me to Christ and to such a time as this, then it would have all been for nothing.
I have been through the crucibal of affliction twice, drugs first and then suffering these infimities in my body. God has forged me like steel. But now my strengh is not in myself but in my faith in God. College degrees and a quick wit don't amount to anything in Gods kingdom. Paul said in 2nd cor. 12:7-10
7And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measur
8For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.
9And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
10Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.
I have yielded my spirit unto His, I seek him in everything I do. I have made a shipwreck of everything in my life that I have tried to do on my own. One of the reasons there are not more men in the church is the fact that men do not like to submit their wills to another, we are nsatural born leaders and we want to lead, we don't like being told what to do. I know I didn't and If you ask my wife she'll say I still don't, but I have been crushed time and agsain because of my disobedience and stuborness. When God breaks you only He can fix you. As I slowly turned my will over to Him He slowly began to restore me. As I am writing this God is already dealing with me about my next assignment and that is to lose a significant amount of weight and exercise more and I'm going to do it too but not depending on my own strength but leaning totaly on him because now that I am weak, He is strong, in me.
God bless you all, Brother Darrell, A watchman
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