Don't look Now but Your Sheep are showing

Praise the Lord! I pray that everyone has been enjoying the many blessings of God. I and my wife Ruth are standing on God's word and counting our blessings as we  weather storm after storm in our lives, but we are not worried because Jesus is on the boat with us and we know that any minute now He's going to stand up and say "peace be still" to our storms.

Despite what I said in my last post about giving my all to God I find myself still struggling with the sideshows of life. When the main attraction should be God and his word I still find myself at times unable to turn from the T.V. shows and the nether lands of surfing the net. I at times would ask God when the storms came "why me? I've done all you have asked of me." I stopped asking Him that question after some close self-examination. A Lot of Christians including myself have a tendency to only remember the things we have been obedient about while rationalizing and suppressing the things we were not obedient about. An example of this is in 1st. Samuel 15: 13+14
¹³And Samuel came to Saul: and Saul said unto him, Blessed be thou of the LORD: I have performed the commandment of the LORD.
¹⁴And Samuel said, What meaneth then this bleating of the sheep in mine ears, and the lowing of the oxen which I hear?
If you read the whole chapter you will find out that God, through His prophet Samuel had told Saul
³Now go and smite Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have, and spare them not; but slay both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass.
But Saul did not do that, he decided to spare Agag the King along with the best sheep and oxen. To make matters worst Saul was approached by Samuel and the first thing he did was start to brag about how he had carried out God's will and when Saul questioned him he made the  excuse that he had spared the best in order to make a sacrifice to God.

I'm sure on the surface it sounds reasonable to most of us, why not? you might ask, I did the main thing I destroyed the Amalekites and wiped them from the face of the earth. I can remember a time when the Lord spoke to me and made it clear that there was a certain ministry and minister that He wanted me to confront and condemn because they were corrupt. I did not want to do it. I said, "Lord who am I that I should speak out against this ministry?" Finally, after much prayer and fasting, I did what I was told or at least it appeared that I did to myself and the few people I had confided in. The minister in charge of this ministry was powerful and had the ability to have me expelled but I put my trust in God and I confronted him as I was instructed and God was with me and the outcome was positive in my eyes and I was even offered a position working under him as an assistant because of my "boldness" and "honesty" he explained.

After that I went around telling everyone about how I had done what God had asked me to do, I was feeling good about myself but He was not feeling good about me. Why? Because I was not obedient. God had told me that after I confronted the ministry I was to leave and not accept any gifts from them and I did. No, I did not take the position as his assistant event though I did consider it but I did accept two new suits from them. I told myself that it was alright because I did not have a suit to wear to church and now I could honor God in how I dressed as well as how I lived. So I accepted the suits and after that, my life began to spiral out of control, all because I was not obedient. There is no such thing as being partially obedient. You either are obedient or you're not as Saul found out in verses 20-23
²⁰And Saul said unto Samuel, Yea, I have obeyed the voice of the LORD, and have gone the way which the LORD sent me, and have brought Agag the king of Amalek, and have utterly destroyed the Amalekites.
²¹But the people took of the spoil, sheep and oxen, the chief of the things which should have been utterly destroyed, to sacrifice unto the LORD thy God in Gilgal.
²²And Samuel said, Hath the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams.
²³For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, he hath also rejected thee from being king.

I left that ministry in disgrace after a drug relapse and even though the person who I had spoken out against also had left in disgrace before I did I had varied from God's plan and therefore did not receive my blessing. The one God had planned for me. How many times have we called ourselves being obedient, carrying out God's will but in retrospect we only were partially obedient. We carried out the parts we agreed with while not executing the parts we didn't agree with or didn't understand. Yet we go around with our chest puffed out testifying to our own goodness and obedience and at the same time things in our lives are out of control and it seems like God is not listening, maybe just maybe we are not as obedient as we think we are. I am learning there is no acceptable level of obedience accept 100% obedience. Even our very thoughts are called to be obedient, see 2nd Corinthians 10:4+5 
⁴(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)
⁵Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

From now on before I start testifying about what I did for the Lord I'm going to shut my mouth and make sure there are no sheep bleating in my background. How about you?
                                    God bless you all, Brother Darrell, A Watchman

We All Give Some, but One Gave All

Praise The Lord! I pray everyone is doing well and is enjoying the blessing of God. I am encouraged today. In my last post I declared that sin made me sick and that the devil may be angry with me but I was even more angry with him, I said it then and I'll say it again " I am tired of him stealing from me" For years he used drugs to take everything away from me accept my life and most of my family. He stole my sister and my baby brother from me and the rest of my family. Both were in their 30's when drugs led to their deaths. "Why has God spared me?" I often ask myself, "Why are they dead while I am yet alive?" The answer is God's amazing grace.

It is God's amazing grace that allows us to stand up and say "enough!!" When the devil rears his ugly head in our lives. I have re - embraced this attitude I am marching back to my first love and what I mean by "first love" is I'm striving for that relationship I had when I first met Him, that total devotion, that desire to spend all my time with him and to live in His presence. I remember how broken I was when I first got saved. I cried for weeks at the drop of a hat. For years I didn't own a T.V. and I never missed it because His word kept me and satisfied me, I studied it day and night even while I ate my meals.
Now when I eat I've got to have the T.V on so I can watch one of my favorite shows. Television and other electronic media are God's greatest competition for our attention. Even with all the tel-evangelist and gospel music shows on cable and T.V. none take the place of personal devotion time with God. A lot of the gospel shows on television have entertainment value but few have the anointing that destroys the yoke of bondage. One scripture in Mark 12:29-31 
²⁹And Jesus answered him, The first of all the commandments is, Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God is one Lord:
³⁰And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.
³¹And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.

How many of us actually follow that command? There should be nothing between us and our love for God, nobody, no TV program, no hobby or career should over shadow our relationship with God. As much as I would like to say I have reached that point in my walk I can not. I am still striving to reach that level. The level I was a lot closer to when I first got saved. Why? I ask myself, is it so hard to maintain the intensity we had in the beginning of our relationship!
You have to work at it. It is like a marriage, you have to work at it to make it work. The bible says in Galatians 5:17 
¹⁷For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would. 
 And in Mark 14:37 +38
³⁷And he cometh, and findeth them sleeping, and saith unto Peter, Simon, sleepest thou? couldest not thou watch one hour?
³⁸Watch ye and pray, lest ye enter into temptation. The spirit truly is ready, but the flesh is weak.
  We have been sleeping on God, at least I know I have, I have not been living everything I know how. Yes I have been afflicted but that is not an excuse and at times I believe I have used it as an excuse to "slack off" a bit and not press my way through the pain and discomfort when I could have. There were times when I could not make it, very painful times and I let those times effect me and my desire to press on when I had the ability to do so. My spirit was willing but my flesh did not want to hurt anymore and the enemy used that to try and hinder me but I'm tired of him stealing from me and hindering my progress in Christ. When I think of the power the body of Christ could have if we all returned to our first love of Christ and even beyond that. We have to die in order to live, we have to cry sometime in order to laugh and we have to suffer before we can be delivered. I love the Lord, He gave his all for me why can't I give my all for Him?
                                           God Bless You All, Brother Darrell, A Watchman

Get Angry and Get Well! or Sin Makes Me Sick!

Praise the Lord! I pray as usual that everyone is continuing to enjoy Gods blessing. In my Last posting I mentioned that my apartment was flooded one night due to plumbing mishap in the apartment above mine. It turned out to be a learning experience for me, God has a way of bringing things out of you that you never knew were in you.
As the new year begins to unravel I'm already beginning to see how much of a battle it's going to be to keep some of the promises I made to the Lord and to myself. The enemy is trying his best to break my resolve to have victory in certain areas of my life. But by the power of God that works in me I have withstood every fiery dart the devil has sent my way. This seems to have made him angry but you know what? I'm angry too. I'm tired of the enemy stealing from me. Stealing my joy, my peace and my opportunities. It's not a constant thing, I do mostly walk in victory but he sneaks in there enough to be a thorn in my side. I think of the relationship with God I could be having if only I could get to that level where I would recognize and fight off every trick of the enemy. My former Pastor used to always say "Son, I hate sin, I hate sin!" You could feel the conviction and disdain in his voice.

I can understand even more today why he hated sin. Sin makes you sick. God says in Micah 6:13
¹³Therefore also will I make thee sick in smiting thee, in making thee desolate because of thy sins.  The Lord also states in Mark 2:17
When Jesus heard it, he saith unto them, They that are whole have no need of the physician, but they that are sick: I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance. 
If you've ever found yourself struggling with Sin then you know you just don't feel right, you feel sluggish, run down. You can't "enter in" and enjoy the peace of God. The burden of sin is great and it weighs on your spirit. Ephesians 4:29-30 states 
²⁹Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
³⁰And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.
There is nowhere to hide from our sins. If you are truly saved, truly spirit filled the presence of sin in your life will grieve the spirit of God in you and that will effect you spiritually and physically. Those who believe that because their sins are not obvious to others they are getting away with something it is for good reason that the bible says that "The wages of sin is death" Sin is a sickness that leads to death.
We all are struggling with something whether it be lying, cheating, cursing, fornicating, gossiping, masturbating or looking at pornography. The Church can not function as long as the body is sick from secret sins. Some are in denial and some just refuse to let go of their sins. It is time for all believers to get angry and get well. Stand up and tell the devil "enough!" He's a liar and the truth is not in him. He's a thief and a killer and a destroyer of lives. For me enough is a enough I'm not falling for the tricks of the enemy anymore. "Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world!"(see first John 4:4 KJV) I won't be fooled again. God Bless You All,
                                                           Brother Darrell, A Watchman        

A Matter Of Trust

Praise the Lord! I pray everyone is enjoying the many blessings of God. It has been a very trying last few days for me, the people in the apartment above me had some kind of plumbing mishap causing me to wake up at 4am the other night and find out it was raining inside my house! I was truly hurt because every night before I go to sleep I pray and ask God to protect this place that He has blessed me with. I specifically ask for protection from things such as fires, break In's and Floods! and here I was in an apartment flooded with water. I felt let down by God at first, how could He let this happen? Did He not hear my prayer?

I then began to think of all the times I had let God down, all the tasks I was supposed to perform for Him and had not carried out. How many times I had fallen short of the mark. Then I spoke to my wife and she said "why do you say that God didn't hear your prayer? maybe It could have been worse." I later found out it could have been worse. God allowed this to happen for a reason and He knows why.
As it turned out it was not as bad as it first looked. I thank God for that and I will continue to pray for His protection every night before I go to bed.

Why is it that when things don't go our way or the way we believe they should go the first thing we do is question God? "What's going on God?" We say as if we know what should have been done.
Isaiah 55:8-10  states:  
⁸For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.
⁹For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.
¹⁰For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater:
Our carnal minds cannot begin to understand the ways of God. How can we understand the thought process that figured out a way to make rain and snow fall from the heavens and that rain waters the ground that brings forth plants and seeds and food for his creation. How can we out think the one who created our minds, can a computer out think a man? Can it understand the moods and emotions of the one who made it? I think not. God's word states in Jeremiah 29:11  
¹¹For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.  The N.IV. Says "I know the plans I have for you" God's thoughts, His plans for us supersede any feeble plan we may come up with. God has an "expected end" end for us, not a possible end or a hoped for end. He has set the course of our lives, He knows how it begins and how it ends. It is hard for man to trust what he does not see or understand. The free will that God gave us, the ability to reason works against the very one who gave it to us. We trust only in things that we can see and touch, things that we can accomplish ourselves in the natural. When we get a memo saying we are being laid off from work the first thing to flash through our minds is how am I going to make it now and then we say "Why me God? I paid my tithes and I pray everyday." We start going over our finances in our heads as we make up various budget scenarios.

When you are truly submitted and truly believe that God is God and is committed to meeting the needs of his people nothing can shake you. When you know His word and the promises He has made the only thing left to do is stand on those promises. His word states in Numbers 23:19
¹⁹God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good?
 Imagine the peace of mind that comes from being a fully sold out believer, steadfast and unmovable in your faith in God and his word. We must study His word so that we can stand on scriptures such as Romans 8:28    
²⁸And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
My goal and every believers goal should be to learn to rest totally in Christ and let the peace that passes all understanding wash over us because we know that God has everything under controll.

               God bless you all, Brother Darrell. A Watchman

Stand, Receive, Give

Praise the Lord! I pray everyone is enjoying God's many blessings. Again I am blessed just to be able to write this blog and share with you what God is doing in my relationship with Him and share with you what thus saith the Lord. It is an unbelievable feeling to be operating within your calling and utilizing the gifts God has given to you. What even blesses me more is when people let me know that they are being blessed too. I know in my heart that what ever you do for the Lord is not in vain, but it does help to get some feedback from time to time, good or bad, from those who take the time to read what God has given me to share with his people.

A few days ago my sister in law called me and asked me if I write something for their church's up coming consecration. I told her I would pray and see what the Lord would give me to share with them. I only had one day notice and I was not sure if I should accept the assignment but I remembered Gods word that we should be ready in season and out of season. 2nd Timothy 4:2 
²Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all long suffering and doctrine.
So I began to pray and put pen to paper and the following is what the Lord gave me to share with them and now I.m sharing it with you. It is called Stand, Receive, Give. I pray it blesses you as it blessed me.

As Christians we all want to receive God’s blessing. We talk about it we pray about it we cry out for it, but do we know what is required of us by God so that we might receive it? Psalm 24: 3-6   ³Who shall ascend into the hill of the LORD? Or who shall stand in his holy place?

⁴He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully.

In these last and evil days in order for us maintain clean hands and pure hearts we must stand, stand up to the whiles of the enemy and the temptations of this world and our own flesh. Once we receive Christ we are set free from the power of sin and we receive power by His spirit so that we can stand and resist the power of sin. Galatians 5:1 states ¹Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.  

Apostle Paul writes again in Ephesians 6:13   ¹³Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.  

As we begin to stand on God’s word we start to develop our relationship with Him and He rewards us with His presence in our lives. Psalm 24: 3, 4, 5 states 3Who shall ascend into the hill of the LORD? Or who shall stand in his holy place? ⁴He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully.

⁵He shall receive the blessing from the LORD, and righteousness from the God of his salvation.

As we receive from the Lord all He asks is that we give unto others. In Matthew 10:7+8 His word says ⁷And as ye go, preach, saying, the kingdom of heaven is at hand.

⁸Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out devils: freely ye have received, freely give.

So in these Last and evil days let us stand for God, Receive His grace and blessings and give freely to all who are in need of what we have in Christ.

                   God bless you all, Brother Darrell, A Watchman 

The 24^th psalm¹The earth is the LORD's, and the fulness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein.

²For he hath founded it upon the seas, and established it upon the floods.

³Who shall ascend into the hill of the LORD? or who shall stand in his holy place?

⁴He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully.

⁵He shall receive the blessing from the LORD, and righteousness from the God of his salvation. ⁶This is the generation of them that seek him, that seek thy face, O Jacob. Selah.

⁷Lift up your heads, O ye gates; and be ye lift up, ye everlasting doors; and the King of glory shall come in. ⁸Who is this King of glory? The LORD strong and mighty, the LORD mighty in battle. ⁹Lift up your heads, O ye gates; even lift them up, ye everlasting doors; and the King of glory shall come in. ¹⁰Who is this King of glory? The LORD of hosts, he is the King of glory. Selah.

Jehovah Shammah!

Praise the Lord! I pray everyone is enjoying Gods many blessings. I am blessed every time I open my eyes. I must confess that even though I know this I find myself feeling lost and without the unction to fight this battle when my wife is away from me as she often is for weeks at a time because of her job. I some times find myself getting confused as to where my strength comes from, I have to remind myself who is always there for me, who is never out of town and who was there before I ever knew who my wife was. That would be Jesus Christ my Lord and my God. My wife would be the first to agree with me.


Jesus was there when I was about to jump off the roof of my building as a child while flying a kite. He was there when the enemy tried to suck the life out of me with bad childhood asthma attacks. He was there when I was almost mangled by a train when I fell between the platform and train as a teenager. Each time He spoke to me saying "no not yet" I didn't even know him then but He knew me. He brought me through the madness and self destruction of drug addiction. I thank God for my affliction because finally I got to know Him and accepted him as my Lord and savior in the summer of 1992 at Time square Church. Even though I came to know him in 1992 He was always with me. He states in His word Hebrews 13:5
⁵Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.
He has always been there, He truly is the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end, the author and the finisher of my faith. Revelation 21:6+7
⁶And he said unto me, It is done. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life freely.
⁷He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son.
In verse seven it says "He that overcometh shall inherit all things..." That is where I'm at now and where I've been for the last nineteen years in Christ, overcoming one trial after another, most of my own making. Through it all Jesus has been right by my side. He has been For me Jehovah Jireh= the Lord our provider, Jehovah Ropheka= the Lord our healer, Jehovah Shalom= the Lord is our peace and of course Jehovah Shammah= the Lord is present. He has always been there for me, He was my shepherd throughout my life, Jehovah Rohi, and He still is. He is my everything, my all and all and unfortunately every so often I have to get refocused on Him because only He can recharge my batteries.I love my wife and I thank God for her but she can't take Gods place, He is my covering, the head of my life and I am my wife's covering and He is the head of both our lives. We can gain comfort from each other and even inspiration as we we observe the lives of fellow believers but only Christ alone will always be there for us. Regardless of where we find ourselves He is there and He can do anything but fail.
                                              God bless you all,
                                                                Brother Darrell, A Watchman    

Frustrated Grace

Praise the Lord! and Happy New Year to everyone. I pray that everyone will enjoy Gods blessing in this coming year. This holiday season was especially blessed because my wife and I spent it together for the first time as a family.
My goal this year as it is every year is to die more to self and live more as an obedient servant of God.
Paul stated in Galatians 2:20+21 that
²⁰I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.
²¹I do not frustrate the grace of God: for if righteousness come by the law, then Christ is dead in vain.
That is my goal in life now, crucified with Christ, my self dead to the world yet living by my faith in God. I want to be lead by Him and his spirit. I want to be in his perfect will. I want to hear his voice and act. I no longer want to lean on my own understanding to solve any predicament I might find myself in. I want to look to the hills from whence cometh my help? and know it comes from the Lord!
Paul also stated that " I do not frustrate the grace of God:..." To frustrate means to make ineffectual or invalid, to nullify or  prevent from accomplishing a purpose. When we try to save ourselves or take  conrol of our wills and take matters into our own hands we frustrate the grace of God. What can man do that God can't do better? The Jehovah's witnesses are a perfect example, they feel they have to do works in order to get into heaven. If that were true then Jesus did not need to die on the cross. We could just do ministry and good works and that would be all we needed. We can not save or fix ourselves. Gods word says in Ephesians 2:8+9
⁸For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
⁹Not of works, lest any man should boast.
Faith and works are linked to each other but faith should lead to works. Everything we do should be born out of faith. The word of God states in Romans 10:17
¹⁷So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.
Upon hearing the word of God and the Gospel of Jesus Christ our hearts should be pricked leading us to accept Gods amazing grace by faith in his word. Unfortunately many hear the message and reject it saying many things like "there are many ways to God! Why Jesus only? I'm a good person, I don't bother anybody why would God send me to hell?" They would frustrate the Grace of God and nulify the work Jesus did on the cross. Churches that preach things like you have to speak in tongues to be saved or you have to be baptised to be saved frustrate the grace of God. Grace is Gods unmerited favor, we don't deserve it but He gives it to us anyway. We can't earn it or buy it. Our works are as "filthy rags" to Him. The things I do and want to do for the Lord come from my love for Him and what he did for me. I love Him because He first loved me. So now I want to give Jesus my all because He gave his all for me.
                                              God bless you all, Brother Darrell, A Watchman