IT MAY BE DARK BUT I STILL SEE JESUS!!: REVISITED

Praise the Lord everybody! I pray you all are enjoying God's blessing. I must admit that I and my wife are going through what some might call a dark time. Not so much in our marriage as it is in our everyday lives. The trials and the hindrances we face now are approaching biblical proportions, any day I expect Moses to come knocking on my door crying "let my people go!" The light is flickering at the end of the tunnel. It may be dark  but I can still see Jesus and that's enough for me.

I wrote the above and the following paragraphs two years ago and I must say in the physical realm nothing has changed but in the spiritual God has used these trials to stretch out our faith to another level. I must say I am not the man I was before these trials and that encouraged me to revisit this post and see where God has brought me from and if you are experiencing the same things I pray it blesses you. BACK TO THE POST:

It is my faith that keeps me putting one foot in front of the other. Faith gets me out of bed and into the shower and starts me on my way, to make matters worst my wife and I have to endure this trial apart from each other having to combine our faith by long distance. Right now it's just me and God holding things down here at home. Sometimes I think of what Paul wrote in 1st Peter 4: 12+13
¹² Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:
¹³ But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.

I Start to meditate on this and I stand up a little taller, then I think about Psalm 30:4,5,6
⁴ Sing unto the Lord, O ye saints of his, and give thanks at the remembrance of his holiness.
⁵ For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.
⁶ And in my prosperity I said, I shall never be moved.

As I meditate on these verses I begin to smile "In his favour is Life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning and In my prosperity I said I shall not be moved"Praise God! you might say "what favour? what prosperity? your in the middle of a fiery trial." But I am reminded of whose I am and who I serve, I have favour because I am covered in the blood of Jesus and that makes me a son of God from that comes my prosperity, I am a joint heir with Christ and in that I will not be moved! I then begin to think of Gods grace, the grace He gives us so that we can stand during these times of tribulation. Romans 5: 1-4 states

1 Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ:

² By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.
³ And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;
⁴ And patience, experience; and experience, hope:

This is just another experience, something I can look back on and use as a testimony to the power of God. It's part of that amazing grace we have through faith in God. My trial by this time is now whittled down from a mountain to a mole hill and I can now see over it into the valley. I see times of refreshing and a peace begins to overtake me, Jesus said in John 16:33
³³ These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.

Praise the Lord! by now my mood has changed, I have encouraged myself through God's word. and I'm ready to stand firm one more day as I wait on Him to deliver me out of this trial.
Remember there is no place so dark no light can be found, you just have to look.

                     God bless you, Brother Darrell, A Watchman
PS: I may be still going through the trial, still basically home bound and bed ridden again after a season of improvement physicaly but the light of Jesus still lights my way, God bless

THE DEVIL WANTS ME DOWN: BUT MY SHIFT AIN'T OVER!!!

Praise the Lord everybody! He is truly worthy to be praised!! I pray everyone is enjoying God's blessing. This is Revival week at my church and I hear God is doing amazing things for His people. Unfortunately I am still laid up with a bad case of sciatica and have been missing all the fun. It has been almost two months since I was last in church. At times I feel myself getting a little frustrated and then the Enemy tries to come in and talk me down off the wall.

You see even though I am down physically spiritually speaking I am still up on the wall, on my watch, I am a Watchman. For those who don't know it most of your cities in biblical times were surrounded by high walls for protection and on those walls they had walkways. The watchman would walk those walls and keep watch over the city, inside and outside the walls, every hour or so he would announce what time it was, make pronouncements from the King and if all was well or not.

The wall I am on is not contained in a building because God and his people are not contained or constrained to a building. As I stand my watch, seeing things through God's eyes, (see Psalms 32:8) and speaking what He wants and writing what He gives me to write even as my own life is full of trials and tribulations the enemy of our souls is near by urging me to "come down from the wall, take a break and focus on yourself and your troubles."

The devil is always trying to make God's people "come down" to his level. In Nehemiah 6: 1-4 the enemy comes and tries to talk him down.1) Now it came to pass when Sanballat, and Tobiah, and Geshem the Arabian, and the rest of our enemies, heard that I had builded the wall, and that there was no breach left therein; (though at that time I had not set up the doors upon the gates;)

2 That Sanballat and Geshem sent unto me, saying, Come, let us meet together in some one of the villages in the plain of Ono. But they thought to do me mischief.
3 And I sent messengers unto them, saying, I am doing a great work, so that I cannot come down: why should the work cease, whilst I leave it, and come down to you?
4 Yet they sent unto me four times after this sort; and I answered them after the same manner. 

Nehemiah recognized the enemy and did not fall for his deception or the "okey doke" as we used to say back in the day. The enemy tried to talk Jesus down twice, once in Matthew 4:5-75 Then the devil taketh him up into the holy city, and setteth him on a pinnacle of the temple,

6 And saith unto him, If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down: for it is written, He shall give his angels charge concerning thee: and in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone.

7 Jesus said unto him, It is written again, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God. 
Then again in Matthew 27: 39-42  39 And they that passed by reviled him, wagging their heads,
40 And saying, Thou that destroyest the temple, and buildest it in three days, save thyself. If thou be the Son of God, come down from the cross.
41 Likewise also the chief priests mocking him, with the scribes and elders, said,
42 He saved others; himself he cannot save. If he be the King of Israel, let him now come down from the cross, and we will believe him.

Like Nehemiah and Jesus I am not going to be talked down by the enemy! Jesus did not come down off that cross and I'm not coming down off this wall. Come what may I have been called up on this wall by God and the devil might want me down but I'm letting him know "I'm working for the Lord and my shift ain't over!" Through the storm and through the rain, through sickness and through pain I am going to serve Him till He calls me down to say "well done".

 The next time the Devil calls out to you "come on down the water is fine" remember there is no water in hell! Stay on the job till your shift is over!

           God bless you all, Brother Darrell, Speaking Off The Wall

NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART!

Praise the Lord everybody! because He alone is worthy! I pray everyone is enjoying God's blessing. I am still in my Job phase it seems, still awaiting that period of refreshing that I know is coming. It has now been three weeks since I was last able to attend church service or go anywhere for that matter due to snow storms and sciatica pain. Add to that the fact that my wife and I have had trials in our finances and trials concerning our health that seem to have no end in sight.

God has been the constant in our lives as we strive to serve and obey Him as He pushes us to another level in Him. I also thank God for our Pastor, Johnnie Green and our church, First Church of Christ Holiness in Harlem N.Y.C.

David said in Psalm 73: 1-3   Truly God is good to Israel, even to such as are of a clean heart.

2 But as for me, my feet were almost gone; my steps had well nigh slipped.

3 For I was envious at the foolish, when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

Like David my feet had almost slipped, slipped off the "Rock" on which my feet were planted as I took my eyes off myself and what God was doing in me to look around at the "prosperity of the wicked." The enemy whispered in my ear "why strive to live Holy and suffer while the unholy prosper while serving no one but themselves? go ahead he said lie on those forms, you need that money, you know the system is not set up to help disabled married couples" I struggled for a moment, my heart wanted to faint and my flesh wanted to give up but then I remembered verses 26-28  26 My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.

27 For, lo, they that are far from thee shall perish: thou hast destroyed all them that go a whoring from thee.

28 But it is good for me to draw near to God: I have put my trust in the Lord God, that I may declare all thy works. 

I felt like Job must have felt when God smacked him back to reality and said to him in Job 38,  3 "Gird up now thy loins like a man...," "This is not a walk for the faint of heart!" I could hear it reverberating through my spirit. So I began to "Gird up" with His word. Isaiah talks about a time such as this in chapter 40 verses 30-33 Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall:
31 But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Jonah said in chapter 2 verse 77 When my soul fainted within me I remembered the Lord: and my prayer came in unto thee, into thine holy temple.
I have remembered the Lord and His promises and His Deeds of old on my behalf and I grabbed hold of them and Pulled myself up to my feet with them. I then looked past the obstacles in my way and saw the finish line. I like the way Paul said it in
2nd Corinthians 4:15-17  15 For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God.

16 For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.

17 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;  

With my life girded about with the truth of God's word I will not be shaken!
Whenever this walk has you feeling "faint" Gird yourself and trust God.

            God bless you all, Brother Darrell, Speaking Off The Wall

THE BATHROOM DOESN'T LIE!!

Praise the Lord everybody! because He alone is worthy to be praised! I pray everyone is enjoying God's blessing. So far the year 2014 has had an up and down start. snow storms and very painful Sciatica have caused me to miss the last two weeks of Church and my back is progressing slowly. God is moving at First Church in a powerful way and I can feel it even here at home and I long to be apart of it. Because of our infirmities my wife and I try and spend a lot of time in prayer and meditation.

Jesus said in Matthew 6: 5-7   5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

7 But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.

In my home the "Prayer Closet" is the bathroom. We didn't choose it, God chose it. I always knew there was something special about the bathroom, things seemed so much clearer, problem solving so much easier and there was that still small voice that spoke to me there. Still I did not fully put it all together until my Wife moved in with me. One day she said to me "Wow! did you know your bathroom is anointed?" Confirmation! then it all made sense to me, the bathroom was the prayer closet! God was meeting us there.

Once I realized that still small voice of wisdom I'd been hearing in there was God and not me I began to listen more intently and was more obedient to what I was instructed to do. I began to trust that voice, to trust God. His voice always speaks truth and The results were immediate. I began to speak "what thus saith the Lord" without fear of consequences or rejection. Gods word says "My sheep know my voice and a stranger they will not follow" now when I hear that voice I listen and obey. I am His, a sheep in His pasture, I'm not saying I'm perfect but I am striving.

Find your prayer closet, commune with God and have an obedient spirit. Do these things and you can't go wrong. In my home we know the "Bathroom" never lies.
                 God bless you all, Brother Darrell, Speaking Off The Wall 

"GOD DON'T NEED NO LAWYERS!!"

Praise the Lord everybody! because He is worthy to be praised! I think we all know that God does not need a Lawyer for anything because who can accuse or defend The creator of all things, Lord God Almighty, The Alpha and the Omega and The Great I AM. But Man is always looking to engage the services of a lawyer for one reason or another to defend him, fight for his rights or get justice for him. The last place that you should find Lawyers though is in the Body of Christ, I should know because I was one.

The reason I called myself a lawyer was because I could mount a vigorous defensive argument to justify any of my behaviors that were called into question, in other words I was always right in my own eyes. The bible says in Proverbs 16:2  All the ways of a man are clean in his own eyes; but the Lord weigheth the spirits.

In my mind I had a good reason to do everything I did and I had the verbal skills to make others come around to my way of thinking or at least create "reasonable doubt". I was my own greatest defense lawyer and I served myself well through High School and College team sports. I was always pleading my case to my coaches. I lawyer'd my way through drug addiction and life until one day I got tired of it all and God touched my heart and said "You are guilty my son" and I broke down and accepted my guilt and asked God to come into my life and change me, I got saved.

I wish I could say that after that I lived happily ever after but I can't. For awhile I served Him, cleaned up my act and went into full time ministry. but After awhile the lawyer in me resurfaced. I knew I was guilty but the number of things I was guilty of began to shrink in my sight as I left full time ministry and went back into the working world resuming my nursing career. I began to see things as the world See's things rather than how God See's them. I began to plead my cases to the Holy Spirit, trying to convince Him and myself mostly why I should be found "Not Guilty" for some transgression I had committed.

One thing I've learned is you can't make a plea deal with the Holy Ghost who's job it is to convict us of sin and lead us into all truth. A lawyer knows the law and his job is to manipulate it to his clients advantage and  being my own client that's just what I did. Thanks be to God for a moment of clarity. There is no room in Christ for the "self righteous". The word says in Romans 3:9+10 9 What then? are we better than they? No, in no wise: for we have before proved both Jews and Gentiles, that they are all under sin;
10 As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one:

God can't use a self righteous vessel. once we realize we are "born in sin and shaped in iniquity" and all our "works are as filthy rags" to God, It's time to realize you can't out talk, think or cross examine the Holy Ghost. I had to humble myself and remember who I was and who God was and is. There is no compromise in living Holy. You can't talk your way around it. So now the only pleading I do is Plead the blood of Jesus and ask God to forgive me of my sins as I repent of and not defend my sins.

No lawyer on earth can justify or erase your sin and get you off the hook, only faith in Christ and true repentance. Next time you want to plead your own case plead the blood of Jesus instead. 

             God bless you All, Brother Darrell, Speaking Off The Wall

ANOTHER LEVEL OF TRUST!

Praise the Lord everybody!! because He alone is worthy, for He has done great things! His praise shall be continually in my mouth. In my last post I talked about my new attitude for 2014. I am determined to put ALL my trust in God. There comes a time when we have to stop worrying about the myriad of possibilities that could befall us in our day to day lives, all the pit falls and worst case scenarios and just TRUST GOD!

God has made certain promises to His people, So if you are counted as one of His people we have to trust that He Will keep those promises. He has promised to provide for our every need. His word says in  Numbers 23:19
King James Version (KJV)
19 God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good?

Fear, Worry and Anxiety should not be a part of the lives of the Believer, yet often times it is. I can remember many sleepless nights in the past, especially when I was homeless and living in a New York City shelter. They used to threaten every so often to send me to a homeless camp in up-state New York somewhere, a three hour ride from the city and my family and my doctors. At the time I was trying to get on disability and spent a lot of time seeing doctors. Many times I would receive notices on my cot at night telling me I was being shipped up-state in the morning and I would stay up all night worrying and planning. then I would  head down to see an advocate at the Coalition for The Homeless first thing that morning. They would come and stop it. Now God had already told me not to worry because He was not going to let that happen months ago yet I would stay up worrying every time. I DID NOT TRUST GOD!!

For years I had trusted in myself because man had repeatedly let me down. Then along comes God, He saves me, delivers me from drugs and sets me on a new path. Then He asks me to trust Him, in all things. This sounds good and is easy at first after all He delivered you from death to life both physically and spiritually and everything is Rosy. Then the storm hits, you lose your job, maybe you get sick or relapse or someone you love dies, suddenly life slaps you upside your head and says "SNAP OUT OF IT!! WHO'S YOUR DADDY?" who do you trust then? Do you fall back on the arm of the flesh? saying "I have my degrees, my connections, I'll just make a call, I'll just sit down with my people, we will work out a plan.

Or do you go to your Father in heaven, Abba Father and put it in His hands, trusting Him to guide you and work things out. I am in the midst of a trial right now that seems to have no end but I sleep well at night because I put my trust in Him. Psalms 4: 5-8 states  5 Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, and put your trust in the Lord.

6 There be many that say, Who will shew us any good? Lord, lift thou up the light of thy countenance upon us.

7 Thou hast put gladness in my heart, more than in the time that their corn and their wine increased.

8 I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, Lord, only makest me dwell in safety.

We have his word to encourage us!! God can't lie!!, we all have a testimony of His movements on our behalf. What more do we need? If you know Gods word it is your lifeline to peace of mind. I had to go against my carnal nature to trust in myself when things got bad and humble myself and realize there was someone more trust worthy than all my degrees and knowledge put together, It is Lord God almighty, maker of heaven and earth who better to trust in? Let us stop giving lip service to God and really trust Him in ALL things because He is who He is.

                       God bless you all, Brother Darrell, Speaking Off The Wall

RESOLUTION 2014: IT'S PURE AND SIMPLE

Praise the Lord everybody for He alone is worthy!! And Happy New Year!! As I sit back and take stock of the year 2013 I see that with all the trials and tribulations
God has brought me from a mighty long way. I have learned to accept what God allows, to trust in Him totally. I find that when I tell some of my fellow Brothers and Sisters in Christ this they Look at me as if I am speaking another language. They can't seem to rap their minds around the fact that God would allow that to happen to a "good" Christian, but first of all, who is "good?"
 even Jesus said not to call Him good in Matthew 19:16-17
King James Version (KJV)
16 And, behold, one came and said unto him, Good Master, what good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life?

17 And he said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God: but if thou wilt enter into life, keep the commandments. 

Trials don't stop coming because you are "good." I am not cursed accept for the curse of being born in sin and shaped in iniquity just like everyone else. I am not practicing secrete sin but I struggle everyday to do what is right in the eyes of God because I am still just a man of flesh and bone.

I believe these trials have come to prove and purge me as God is preparing me to take me to another Level for His usage. He is not releasing finances so that I can learn to trust Him for everything no matter what. He is not releasing healing so I can learn to press my way through by faith and He sometimes incarcerates me at home so that I can know that He is all that I need and when He wants to get my full attention.

I'm like Job now who said in Job 13:14-16
King James Version (KJV)
14 Wherefore do I take my flesh in my teeth, and put my life in mine hand?

15 Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him.

16 He also shall be my salvation: for an hypocrite shall not come before him.

We Christians sometimes say and claim a lot of things to each other out of habit or just because it sounds like the right thing to say but when we are alone what are we doing and saying. I say "I trust God", I say "I love the Lord," I sing "Victory in Jesus!" and "there is power in the blood" but are we walking in "power" and in "victory" when It's only you and God. When trials come on every hand do you really "feel like Going on?" God has got me in a place now where I trust him no matter what, I love him no matter what, and I praise Him no matter what!

This year I not only want to be able to quote scripture but I want to live scripture.

If a man of God can make his own New Years resolution the I resolve to love Him more, trust Him more, be more attentive and obedient to Him in all my ways.
If I do these things how can I go wrong? PURE AND SIMPLE!

 HAPPY NEW YEAR! God bless you all, Brother Darrell, Speaking Off The Wall